![]() ![]() Off the Man’s fetal position we SMASH TO TITLES. She DECKS the Man in the face, runs away. I’m not usually that aggressive, I’ve justHOMELESS MAN Let me munch on that kitty cat, Curly-Q. The girls run away as we hold on the GROANING Homeless Man. ![]() ABBI I really hope the new Hunger Games is on Netflix, ‘cause I’veA HOMELESS MAN appears from the shadowsHOMELESS MAN You girls like to feel good? Abbi SCREAMS and Ilana KICKS the Man in the crotch - he goes down hard. ![]() She passes to Abbi, they continue their trek. Am I right?! A BEAT, thenABBI What the fuck are you talking about, dude? Ilana pulls a joint from her bag, lights it, tokes. ILANA (CONT’D) The nocturnal life is the life for me! In the daytime I’m like cyborg Ilana, you know? Like, just another sheep in the pride, but once that sun sets and that big glorious moon hits center stage it becomes my spotlight and tonight is tech rehearsal, you know? And I’m, like fucking the director and he’s way into butt-stuff, but still allows me to feel like a lady. And two, you need to learn to embrace the night, dude! Ilana prances ahead, spinning, LAUGHING - think Julie Andrews on a hillside. ILANA Okay, first of all, you should never feel unsafe when you’re with me on account of my double-jointed limbs. ABBI How much farther is the bus stop? This part of town is a little too CSI for my liking. (BEAT) You think I’m an eight? ILANA Seven point five. ABBI I just wish someone with actual kahunas would walk up to me and demand a date. ILANA Well, then it must’ve just been the overall progressive spirit that oozes from your pores! Take it as a compliment, dude! I mean, it takes massive kahunas to walk up to an eight like you and demand a date. ILANA I don’t know, man! Maybe because you have your hair up? ABBI Just because I have my hair in a ponytail does not mean I’m, like all of the sudden a lesbian. ABBI (26) and ILANA (23) walk at a hurried pace, arm-and-arm. FIFTH AVENUE, HARLEM - NIGHT Dark here, almost too dark. ![]()
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